December 2010
Mr loud cell phone talker also yelled “¡Feliz Año Nuevo!” at me. I think that was a threat or something…
First went to All Saints years ago in London. Loved it. New store open in Seattle—it’s amazing. Birthday comin soon http://yfrog.com/hs7hkwj
At an expensive, dimly-lit restaurant downtown & my wife says, “this is the kind of place where you don’t need to bother putting makeup on.”
“I’m a Christian, I believe in 2nd chances, BUT…” // Absolutely ridonkulous, stupid & embarrassing. http://tinyurl.com/385d3c3
Good News People Aren't Jerks
It’s embarrassing how little, insignificant things can trigger a mood swing—causing me to go from normal to jerk in 4.2 seconds. I recently had an incident like this at Radio Shack. Ugh. Embarrassing. When I think about the story of Joseph (Mary’s fiancé), I’m struck with how many opportunities he had to loose his cool (finding out his fiancé is pregnant and he’s not the father, long road trip...
OK Nordstrom—we get it: you’re classy. But closing at 10 when the mall closes at 11? That’s just snooty. “We R closed ‘cause we R that good”
“You’re a go-getter, right? Go get me some craisins.” -Boss Who Is Hungry for Power and Tangy Dried Fruit —Aparna Nancherla
Love your family @JudahSmith @WendyPerez @BennyPerez & am so grateful for your father @WendellSmith - he is truly a worthy hero. Praying 4 U
If J.Lo was in the NFL, she’d be Michael Turner.
Rockin a ‘stache—my first time ever. By the look on my daughter’s face, this will also be my last time ever.
General Tso must’ve been a real spicy (and greasy) guy.
I’m my mom’s google. —Travis Bowe
If a necktie comes packaged in plastic, it’s pretty much gonna be awesome. http://yfrog.com/h2iuplj
Not Even A Onesie
Every baby I’ve seen wears the official baby uniform: a onesie. When Jesus was born, he didn’t have much—not the latest and greatest from Babies “R” Us, not a crib, not a rattle, not a binkie… not even a onesie. Here’s how the Bible tells it: “She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available...
It Was No Overlake Childbirth Center
It’s pretty easy to list what the manger scene was not… It was not luxurious. It was not comfortable. It was not sanitary. It was not heated or air conditioned or ventilated. It was not the Overlake Childbirth Center. It was not a place Mary or any other expectant mother would plan to give birth in. And yet… it was something. It was some form of shelter. It was the place where Jesus...
It’d be funny if Wikileaks reported some of the embarrassing music you listen to—especially videos of you dancing to it.
Where's The Frank -n- Sense?
Permission to speak frankly—and with common sense… Smallness on the inside keeps us from doing big, significant things for others. Herod was the big man on campus, the king. He was loud, brash and intimidating. He was consumed with making a bigger name for himself—not by giving to others but by taking from them. Herod was tiny on the inside. He was a wee little man. Insecure. Afraid....
RT: @BazeCraze —Just to keep my anger level down, I’m going to pretend the Westboro Baptist Church just wants British people to quit smoking
Shari describing how lefties write: “They write upside down—it’s called the claw.” Me: “Really!? So I can find that in the dictionary?”
I want to be the guy in charge of covering up Apple’s logo on sitcom laptops. Seems like good, steady work. —Chris Pinckney
bacon lovers gift guide
http://www.uncrate.com/guide/bacon/
Remember when people cared about how many talk minutes they had on their cellphone plan? That was weird. —MJ Parisi
So—one goal I have for this day is finding an incredibly ugly Christmas sweater that doesn’t smell too bad.
Study shows good looking couples are more likely to have daughters. Yeah, this confirms what I thought all along… http://j.mp/hwpf7u
Be Wise (Guys)
One guy (Herod) worried about something being taken away from him. Some other guys (the wise guys) came to bless, honor and give. Same baby Jesus—two different responses. Jesus would later teach: “Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting is the way.” (Luke 6.38 MSG) Some will live like Herod—trying so...
RT: @badbanana —Anyone getting married right now? I’m hungry for cake.
Push + Play / Play + Push
Just a random post… Life isn’t all about the push. When it’s all about the push, life becomes stressful and joyless. Ya gotta play—take time to smell the roses, enjoy the journey, laugh and be silly. Similarly, life isn’t all fun and games. When it’s all fun and games, life becomes frivolous and inconsequential. Remember: When you’re pushing, take time to play. When playing, get recharged...
RT: @KellyOxford —I’m pretty sure the Mayans just got tired of writing that calendar.
I am fantastic at multi-tasking things that make me no money. —Josh Hara
I assume that everyone wearing sunglasses is an alien imposter eyeing me hungrily. —Andres Du Bouchet
I'd Rather Be Herod's Pig Than His Son
Caesar Agustus, a close personal friend of Herod was quoted as saying, “I’d rather be Herod’s pig than his son.” The truth is, being a pig in Herod’s household would’ve been much safer than being a family member. He killed his favorite wife, Mariamne (he had 10 wives), because he suspected infidelity. Herod also killed his uncle, his mother-in-law, and three of his sons. Herod was deeply insecure...
“The problem with quotations seen on the Internet is that it’s difficult to discern if they are genuine.” —Abraham Lincoln
For each unnecessary exclamation mark someone uses, their “drama rating” goes up one point in my mind.
It’s amazing how few people list “The Hospital” as their emergency contact. —Jason Mustian
Wanna see some beaten-down men? Go to Victorian Country Christmas. Wanna see some happy men? Go to Victoria’s Secret.
All Kinds O' Crazy
Insecurity is a ruthless master. When its insatiable appetite is fed, insecurity morphs into an even worse dictator: paranoia. The mind of the deeply insecure, paranoid individual is full of all kinds o’ crazy. Remember Herod? He was the crazed king of the Roman provinces surrounding Bethlehem at the time of Jesus’ birth. When he heard a new “King of the Jews” was born, his insecurities started...
It seems my 2 main reasons for going to the gym are at odds w/ each other… 1) So I can look awesome, 2) So I can eat more.
Adulthood, in a nutshell, is making your kids finish their fruit while you hide in the pantry and eat milk duds for breakfast. —Kelly Oxford
Douglas Smith, an unemployed cabinet installer from Eugene has his name legally changed to Captain Awesome http://j.mp/g2D7sV
The right time to say “methinks” is nevertime. —Kate Riley
The owner of the rights to “The Super Bowl Shuffle” is suing Viacom for using it without permission—big news for anyone who hasn’t left 1985
Wikileaks is alive & leaking. Tumblr has fallen down & can’t seem to get back up. Facebook is doing another facelift.
RT: @badbanana —Personally, I’m glad the saber tooth tiger is extinct. I’ve got enough stuff to worry about this week.
I’m learning how to say the word “worcestershire” (WOOS-tər-shər). Apparently the R is silent, just like it is in “Washington”
RT: @McRibSandwich I’m classing up my name Ke$ha style. Call me M¢Rib.
Winkers jeans, “the jeans with eyes”. Worst clothing idea ever. Look em up on YouTube.
I have a difficult time saying the word prohibitive.
Conan shows us why we shouldn’t wear jeggings. He shoulda been wearing Uggs w/ ‘em… http://yfrog.com/caj0l01j http://yfrog.com/2p7bb0j
According to McDonald’s Christmas advertising, joy is a 20 piece chicken nuggets. Sounds like a perfectly reasonable claim.
What’s the opposite of prolific? That’s what I’m good at. —Christian Blair